Why?

Why?
Why does love heal when it also hurts?
Why so opposites attract, with nothing in common?
Why are we comforted by other’s sufferings?
Why isn’t there a cure for cancer?
Why do we go to the moon?
Why do brown and black clash?
Why do kids make fun of other kids?
Why is reality so cruel and life so unforgiving?
Why do tears flow when we hurt?
Why do people get plastic surgery?
Why is there still no solution for world hunger?
Why do we judge others when we have no room to judge?
Why do we pray for rain, but consider it an inconvenience?
Why should there be mental hospitals when people go to school to be psychiatrists?
Why do people get drunk when they know of the possible consequences?
Why don’t we believe when we know it’s true?
Why are my questions unanswered?

Behind the Yellow Wallpaper

FINALLY! My paper is through, kind of. I have revised, added, scribbled and created a monster (in the form of a literary essay). I didn’t think that I would ever be able to get through that paper, but I did. The hardest part of the entire paper was getting started and then I faced several challenges like organization and thought process. In class on Monday, Liz practically saved my life! She really helped me and redirected me to get on the right path. I was way off target, and I was beginning to get really frustrated and annoyed with the paper as well as with myself. To make matters worse, I intended to work on my paper on Tuesday, but I tragically left my flash drive (which had my paper on it) at work on Tuesday. I was not very happy because I didn’t realize it until it was too late. So I worked on what I could and left my house early so I could get my flash drive. I was not able to make all of the changes that I wanted to before class period. But I was able to make a few adjustments. I have officially submitted my paper and now I am waiting in anticipation...

It's All in the Bag

What girl does not love new clothes? I can’t think of one of the top of my head. That’s probably because Girl’s love clothes, shoes, accessories and shopping in general. Well I, by no means, am the exception. I love clothes, shoes, accessories, shopping and just about anything fashion. However, shopping is a rarity for me because I have to pay for my own clothes, and my ‘every other week paycheck’ doesn’t accommodate the latest trends, sadly. My Momma’s best friend is about the same size as me and always dressed fashionably and oh so cute. Her closet is a wonderland! She told me yesterday that she was cleaning out her closet and that she had some clothes for me. As soon as she said that, I was excited because I knew what kind (more specifically brands) of clothes she wore and I knew that I was probably getting ready to hit the jackpot. Sure enough, the next day after church, I was walking to my car and she tells me that she has those clothes. She gave me four garbage bags FULL of clothes and another full of pocket-books! It was like Christmas for this white girl!
What girl does not love new clothes? I can’t think of one of the top of my head. That’s probably because Girl’s love clothes, shoes, accessories and shopping in general. Well I, by no means, am the exception. I love clothes, shoes, accessories, shopping and just about anything fashion. However, shopping is a rarity for me because I have to pay for my own clothes, and my ‘every other week paycheck’ doesn’t accommodate the latest trends, sadly. My Momma’s best friend is about the same size as me and always dressed fashionably and oh so cute. Her closet is a wonderland! She told me yesterday that she was cleaning out her closet and that she had some clothes for me. As soon as she said that, I was excited because I knew what kind (more specifically brands) of clothes she wore and I knew that I was probably getting ready to hit the jackpot. Sure enough, the next day after church, I was walking to my car and she tells me that she has those clothes. She gave me four garbage bags FULL of clothes and another full of pocket-books! It was like Christmas for this white girl!

Music to my Soul

There are so many songs that inspire me. I am very versatile when it comes to music so I am inspired by anything from Country to Christian to Broadway; I even enjoy listening to Classical. When Ms. Frailly asked the class today about what song inspires us, I was unable to answer simply because I could not pinpoint one particular song, I have so many. There are a lot of songs by Sugarland and Sara Evans that really inspire me. There are Christian songs by Third day and MercyMe that either challenge or comfort me. Even in the world of Jazz, Norah Jones and Michael Buble’ are a guarantee escape for me. There is a song by Sara Evans called “Born to Fly” that pretty much takes who I am and puts a melody to it. Particularly in the second verse the lyrics say “My Daddy is grounded like the Oak Tree, My Momma is as steady as the sun, you know I love my folks but I keep staring down the road, just lookin’ for my one chance to run”. Every time I hear that song I just think of how my Daddy is so old-fashioned and stern and yet my mom is still kinda strict but she is so even-tempered and wise, to me she really is as ‘steady as the sun’. That is just one of the many songs that make me happy or speak to me like no other.

Embrace every moment

Today is my nephew’s second birthday. I can hardly believe that he is already two years old. So many things have transpired since he was born. I have changed so much as well as the world around me has seemed to undertaken a complete metamorphosis. I feel that as an individual I have matured a lot and have become more responsible. I also have acquired a new perspective in life. I have learned to embrace every moment because I have a limited amount of time to live. I have learned not to rush, especially when it comes to driving, because I would rather be two minutes late than never get to that place and end up in the hospital instead. I have also learned how important it is to use positive and uplifting words rather than using words that will tear someone down. There are so many things that have taken place in my life that have taught me very important lessons, most of which I wish that I had learned a few years earlier and some I wish that I didn’t have to learn them in the way that I did. In the light, I have learned that in life, you get what you get, and there is only one thing you can change about that. That one thing is your perspective and how you handle each situation. Yeah, life stinks sometimes but there are other times when things couldn’t get better, it’s just life.

Love

If someone loves you, really loves you, then they will do anything, sacrifice everything and hold back nothing for you. My eyes have been open to that love in that last seven months. There have been two people in my life that have loved me enough to let me fall, let me learn and helped me back to me feet. They have supported me every step of the way. in the past seven months, I have not just learned how to write an ‘I-search’ paper, how to find the potential energy of a car and the history of music. I have learned that true love, whether romantic or motherly, can withstand any storm that life can hurl at you. I’ve also learned that God will sustain me through these tough times when I fell that I have nothing left.


I have learned that I have three true friends and companions, who won’t ditch me when times get hard, won’t judge me when I have a bad day, and won’t let past circumstances hinder our future.

An Advocate for Extended Deadlines!

When I am drowning in the sea of homework, papers, snow make-up assignments and complex fractions, one extended deadline is all I need to save me from sinking. Ms. Frailly lengthening the time to finish our paper was like one of those round red-and-white striped life preservers in the middle of the ocean. I knew that I was going to be in for some long nights after it snowed on Wednesday, but I may be able to afford a few hours of sleep somewhere in the chaos. I am so glad that we have a little while longer to work on our papers. Because it seems that no matter how hard or long that I work on this paper, it just doesn’t seem done! Grr! I feel as though writing a paper is a never ending process, a hard-core marathon with no finish line. The only time it is ever ‘complete’ is when we hand it in to Ms. Frailly to be graded. And after that I still feel as though something else could have been adjusted, or maybe my topic sentence should have been clearer.

S-N-O-W!

The second snow storm of the year! I was so excited. Why? I’m not exactly sure why I love snow. When we get a significant amount, I only like to play in it for about ½ hour to maybe an hour depending on how cold it is outside; I would rather be inside with a cup of coffee. Maybe the reason I love snow so much is because snow is so beautiful and delicate and makes everything that it falls on look beautiful and magical.

When I woke up this morning and saw that it was snowing, I was happy and kind of disappointed. I knew that the snow would be fun and all, but in the back of my mind I knew that I would have to pay for this day off by doing extra homework and stuff for school. L When I finally got out of bed, I had a lot of things that I wanted to get completed before church later this evening. I even made out a make-shift list with some goals to complete. Sadly, I didn’t get but maybe two things checked off on that list. I didn’t do hardly anything except drink too much coffee and talk to my mom. Ironically though, even though I didn’t get all of those things finished, I didn’t have the least bit of remorse or guilt for wasting my day away. Usually I do, but today, I simply didn’t care. I’ll probably suffer for it in the future, but oh well; I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Summer Plans (tentative)

As I was looking at some pictures of my family and me from last summer, I remembered what a great summer it was. I went to a wonderful life-changing summer ballet intensive in Jackson, Mississippi, one of my brothers went on a mission trip to Durham, North Carolina, and my other two brothers went to a camp in the mountains and had a blast. My mom and I were discussing my plans for this summer, and I really wanted to go back to the Summer Intensive I went to last summer. In my heart, though, I knew that going there wasn’t exactly how I was supposed to spend my summer. So I began looking into taking some summer courses at South Piedmont. I kinda felt bummed that, instead of going off on an amazing summer adventure, I would be cooped up in a college classroom. But for some reason that still didn’t feel right.

So I began to really pray about it, and after really praying about it for about a week, my brothers received a postcard from the camp they went to last year. That postcard seemed like a sign. So I went to the website and found that the camp was accepting applications for Senior Counselors in their freshman year of college. When I saw that, I instantaneously knew what I should do. I was going to fill out applications and apply to be a counselor at Christian Summer Camps for kids. I think that this would be the opportunity of a lifetime, and I really feel like that is where God is calling me to go! So I guess we’ll see, because being a counselor was no way near my original summer plans.